About the Beer Ratings

***In order for a beer to obtain a 5 Boob rating, all present boobs must be in agreement that it is worthy.***

 1 Boob

Terrible. This is the kind of beer you drank your freshman year, because it was the only thing you could afford. This could also include horrible “flavored” beers that the brewmaster probably deserves a kick in the balls for even thinking about making.

2 Boobs

Okay, but still below average. Not something you would want to drink unless there wasn’t anything else to choose from. This is really the “B cup” of beers. They probably look ok in a push up bra but when you really get down to it there’s really not enough there to matter.

3 Boobs

A pretty good beer. Not the best thing, but not the worst. Average. This is a beer you would carry around at a party and sip, as not to seem awkward.

This is a great beer. You could see yourself buying it at the store. You would hide it in the vegetable drawers in the fridge if you had a party and only tell your close friends where the “good beer” is.

This ranking is obviously the hardest to achieve. In order to receive 5 boobs, all girls ranking the beer must agree that it’s worth 5 boobs. This is a beer that you would fill a lake with, have it freeze in the winter, ice skate on, then drink when spring comes around and it melts. (Thanks Beerfest)

OTHER RANKINGS

MOOB

A moob is a man-boob. This is obviously the worst ranking a beer can receive (for now). It’s the kind of beer that almost instantly makes you want to throw up in your mouth. It’s like losing at beer pong at a frat party, after at least 10 teams have played without washing the cups, and being shoved the cup with the remaining beer. You look into the cup and see many unidentifiable pieces of debris floating in the pool of warm beer and backwash and wonder just how many whores before you drank from this very cup, leaving STDs behind.

Or it's like your initial reaction to this, but in beer form.